On Accounting+, Theron, & road rage.


Accounting+ on PSVR.

I played it last night, but really, you don’t play Accounting+. It plays you.

I obviously didn’t catch the earlier Vive version. If you didn’t, either, I’ll warn you: they say that the PSVR version contains double the content. From what I’ve read, it does. Which still makes it a ridiculously short game. I mean, like, finish-all-in-one-sitting-after-dinner short, and still have plenty of time to do other things before bedtime. I wasn’t paying very close attention, but I don’t think it took me more than an hour (probably less), and I wasn’t exactly speeding through it. For $12, I feel like it needed four times the content. $12 for two hours would be about the same price for a movie (if you went during the day, anyway), so that wouldn’t have been too bad.

My favorite part of the game was the menu. No kidding. The menu is funny and creepy and I wish there’d been more of it. There’s a car-chase sequence later on that was also kind of fun. But there’s so little to do that I walked away thinking that I must have somehow missed half the game. Like there’d been a door somewhere that I failed to go through to find the rest of the content.

The King of VR. Just call me the Kingslayer.

The premise of the game is simple: you’re an account who’s just been hired to work in a new virtual reality accounting program. Things go wrong, and you spend the rest of the game trying to find your way out of deeper and deeper levels of VR.

Except “find your way” is overstating things. The game is basically on rails. You can’t fail or get lost. There are only a couple of places you can teleport to in any given scene (and sometimes there aren’t any at all) and a limited number of things you can interact with. There are puzzles, I suppose, if you can dignify, “Teleport over here, open the thing, take that thing, and then teleport over there and put that thing in this other thing” by calling it a puzzle. The game is basically a series of scenes, with limited interaction on your part. Listening to the characters talk is the highlight, and ymmv there. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s funny for a second and then gets annoying. Sometimes, it’s just annoying.

There’s foul language, blood, and entirely too much poo. If you’re curious, I’d wait for a sale (or, better yet, wait and see if it’s free via PS+ one of these days.)

All in all, it was weird and kind of fun, but there was far too little of it and most of its actual redeeming value was limited to the menu.

Accounting+ menu.

I have a theory about Theron.

*Spoilers for “Crisis on Umbara”.

I played “A Traitor Among the Chiss” this week. I won’t spoil anything major, but I have a theory.

We found out who the traitor was in “Crisis on Umbara”. “A Traitor Among the Chiss” gave us a few more hints about what Theron and his pals are up to. At this point, I see two possibilities:

1) Theron is a traitor, and this will make more sense as we learn more. This was the initial reveal, and it could be true. It’s what I believed was true, to begin with, mostly because Theron himself said it was true. This isn’t a case of somebody, say, disappearing and others jumping to a conclusion. Theron confessed. Flat out, no mistake. He’s the traitor.

2) Theron stumbled across a plot, found a way to get inside, and decided that it was too risky to let anyone know what he was up to — which could actually point to another traitor in the ranks, possibly a mole who’s been passing along information to the bad guys. So Theron goes all in to root out the plot and expose or foil it. Hello… spy! That’s what he does. Which means he’s probably just hoping and trusting that you’ll have faith in him. Or it’s so dire that he’s accepted the potential consequences, which could include losing everything. This probably should have been my first thought, but it wasn’t. Betrayal is almost the default in SWTOR, after all.

I don’t know whether to hope for the second, or try to get used to the first. I feel a little dumb believing that he was a traitor in the first place, but I also feel a little dumb thinking that maybe he isn’t. BioWare has screwed with my head so many times that I don’t know which way to jump anymore.

Here’s why I think the second might be true: Theron’s new haircut.

Yeah, that’s right. His haircut. That hair is so not Theron that it immediately made me think that it was part of his cover. Something he did to fit in. Visible reassurance to his new pals that he really has switched sides. A little bit of sass? Sure. Shaved-head freakiness? Nuh uh. Not unless it’s part of the job.

Of course, there’s a third possibility, but I’m really hoping we don’t go there. I HATE it when games make you think you’re not in on something, and then turn around and go, “Surprise! Your character knew all along!”  grrrrRRRRR.

On road rage.

I was walking through the parking garage last night, heading out from work, when I heard the “chirp chirp” of a Subaru being unlocked. Right on its heels, I heard another “chirp chirp” from a different direction, and then a third. And I thought, “Crikey, it’s the mating call of the wild Subaru…”

Subaru drivers drive me batshitcrazy. So do Jeep, Prius, and BMW drivers, though for slightly different reasons.

People who drive Subarus generally tend to just drive too slowly, but people who drive Jeeps are just crazy. I’m sorry, but you are. I might be biased, though. The first time I bought a new car — two weeks after I bought my first new car — some chick in a Jeep decided mid-intersection that she needed to turn right. She was in a through-only lane, and had to cross over another through lane to do it, but apparently she was under the impression that turns could be made whenever the urge popped into her head. She jerked the wheel over without bothering to so much as glance around her and smashed right into me.

Prius drivers… no. Ya’ll know about Prius drivers. Yes, you do. Either they’re too slow and totally in the way, or they’re under the mistaken impression that they drive fast and are totally in the way.

BMW drivers are the worst. I’ve run into (not literally) a few exceptions, but many of them drive like they’re terrified of hurting the car. Literally terrified. Why the hell would you spend that kind of money on a car you’re scared to drive?

It brought to mind a ridiculous incident that happened about a week ago.

I was driving home, and I noticed a Challenger about a half a block ahead of me and one lane over. It was dark, and the lighting along those streets isn’t great, so I was trying to decide in that idle, traffic-is-slow-and-I’m-bored kind of way, whether it was red or orange. I was pretty certain it was orange, but it was hard to tell for certain.

Determining the color was also difficult because the silver Camry behind the Challenger was up his ass and kept blocking my view. The Challenger was super slow through every intersection, kept braking for no apparent reason, and took ages to get moving when the lights turned green. He was obviously driving the Camry crazy. I’m guessing the Camry was thinking the same thing I would have, in his place: “Why the fuck would you buy a Challenger and then drive it like that?!”

As I watched, I had a sneaking suspicion that all of the braking was an attempt to brake-check the Camry, but since we were going maybe 15 mph (when we were moving at all), it wasn’t working very well. I switched over into the Challenger’s lane, three cars behind, and lost sight of them briefly (but I stayed back, in case all the braking ended up causing an actual accident.)

As we approached the light where I needed to turn right, I saw the Challenger get into the turn lane. The cars between us weren’t turning, so I ended up sitting behind him at the light.  When it turned green, he took forever to get moving, but I was forewarned and ready for it, so I tried to be patient. He finally turned the corner. I followed along behind, giving him plenty of space. We were turning onto a two-lane one-way street, and we both moved into the left lane. Just as we straightened out, he slammed on the brakes– hard stop, massive jerk (take that any way you want to). If the Camry had still been on his ass, there probably would have been a collision. But I was there instead, and I wasn’t on his ass, so it just looked… dumb. I didn’t have to do much more than tap my brakes and coast a little. At that point, I was thinking that maybe he really wasn’t brake-checking. Maybe the guy had just bought the damn thing and really didn’t know how to drive it. Then he suddenly peeled out, lurched the car-length-and-a-half-or-so between him and the guy in front of him, slammed on his brakes again, and started screaming out the window.

That was when it dawned on me that he might be thinking that I was the Camry. My car’s about the same color silver, and has a similar profile. He was so wound up that he might not have noticed that he’d dropped the Camry at the light, and now he thought I was the guy who’d been tailgating him for the last eight blocks (or possibly more, for all I know).

I couldn’t help it. The whole thing struck me as ridiculous, and I couldn’t stop laughing. Which probably made things worse, if he noticed. Either way, we both made the next left and went six more blocks along the same route, but when we turned, I made a point of dropping into another lane so that I wasn’t following him at all. It didn’t help. He kept screaming out the window for all six blocks. He also wasn’t paying attention, because now he was weaving all over the place and came close to hitting another guy. I just hope he got himself under control once I was out of sight and no other silver cars had the misfortune of getting behind him.

I get hella mad sometimes, but seriously, people — it happens to most, if not all, of us, and you can’t let it put your life (or someone else’s) in danger. When I start steaming, I put on my mellow playlist or turn on the comedy station and try to just get away from the problem. It’s not worth getting into an altercation, or an accident.

Especially if you’re throwing all that hate at the wrong person. I mean, really.

There’s your PSA for the day. Here’s a bonus one.

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